This Journal Suits Me
Journals 2009-2011
Here’s a short history of my ugly duckling years. A few years spent in loneliness and angst.

These journals were my way of spending time. It made me feel happy and gave me a sense of belonging that I did not always feel back then, and I became very invested in this little cut-and-paste world I made.

As I part further from this period of my life, I lose the intensity of emotions that I associate with these books. (Thankfully.) I’m not sure if anything I make in the future might involve such raw vulnerability again.

I think it is important once in a while to look through these books again. It reminds me of something Charlie Chaplin said: “That's what all we are: amateurs. We don't live long enough to be anything else.”

Beyond the moodiness, I think of these years spent in making art as sort of the final period of my life where I made art in the only way I know how, misinformed, unschooled, and with lots of feelings.

Knowing that I am still an amateur feels promising and gives me a lot of hope for the future.