1.     touch

  2.     This Journal Suits Me

  3.     Fluorescent Adolescent

  4.     Workbook

Here’s a short history of my years.

This journals were my way of spending time, recording the things I feel and experience. Is this a personal fiction? Maybe. As I part further from this period of my life, I lose the intensity of emotions that I associate with these books. The importance of these books have shifted, and I feel this each time I think about what this project means to me. I think of these years of art-making as the time I made art in the way I know how, uninformed, unschooled, and with plenty of feelings.

My thesis topic is about growing up in the age of the Internet. A generation of twenty-somethings came of age at the cusp of Web 1.0 and Web 2.0.
My project explores the youth as an active participant in the network. Without geographical barriers, this form of online participation becomes a shared experience amongst youths all over the world. Coming of age is a special event in most societies, and with this project, I want to provide an additional interpretation of how that will manifest in the digital age.
In the course of this project, I recorded down my thoughts and notes from my readings on my notebooks and on my blog. I also collected images from my work space, both online and offline. The process journal becomes an integral part to my project and allows me to expand on this topic further.

Yohji Yamamoto says “Start by copying. Copy copy copy copy. At the end of the copy, you will find yourself.” That sounds like the long and short of being an adolescent. We copy the people we wanted to be, people we idolised.
Being an adult is a little different.  The teenage personas we took on were expected to end, and we are expected to provide some justification for things we do or choose. Responsibilities come our way. You should have some semblance of who you are, but now you need to learn to negotiate with the world around you.

Finding yourself is a continuous journey. In adulthood, perhaps we just continue this pursuit with some grace and responsibility.

Here’s a short history of my ugly duckling years. These journals were my way of spending time. It made me feel happy and gave me a sense of belonging that I did not always feel back then, and I became very invested in this little cut-and-paste world I made.
As I part further from this period of my life, I lose the intensity of emotions that I associate with these books. (Thankfully.) I’m not sure if anything I make in the future might involve such raw vulnerability again.
I think it is important once in a while to look through these books again. It reminds me of something Charlie Chaplin said: “That's what all we are: amateurs. We don't live long enough to be anything else.” I think of these years spent in making art as sort of the final period of my life where I made art in the only way I know how, misinformed, unschooled, and with lots of feelings.

Knowing that I am still an amateur feels promising and gives me a lot of hope for the future.

You know how it is like when we make stupid careless decisions. You know how it is like when song after song screams out all the thoughts in our mind. The pain in our chest, the horrible marks, the sense of guilt, we have let everybody down. That’s just school, it’s just a feeling called school.